Thursday, April 11, 2013

I've always been really bad at coming up with titles for posts and this is no exception... An update of what's going on

So I haven't been here in a while and I felt like I owed those of you who pop up as direct hits on my blog something of an update so here 'tis...

things have not been good here, I had a rant in my last post and in retrospect that was merely the symptom of a bigger issue. it hasn't been fun here in the land of shish.

so what is wrong you may (or may not) be wondering? I think the bottom line is that neither myself nor my darling Hubby are basically happy right now.  That sounds awful and it is. Everyone deserves to be happy and it's has me frantically searching for answers.

I'm a "got to have all the answers" kind of person, I need to know the reason why things are the way they are... to everything. It's frustrating for me when I can't find the answers and for those around me who can not give them to me.

In this case, I was blindsided by how these issues which have been brewing for a long time, seemed to sneak up and king hit me from behind.  We were both taken unawares I think and both of us came up with different ways to deal with it.  I'm not saying that they were initially effective though.

I'm an emotional talker, I need to get all my feelings out there and heard.  Hubby not so much and this makes it tricky and has made the situation flare up on more than one occasion. 

However. the more we "talk" (and thankfully we are getting better at it) the closer we're getting to how we can get back to being happy. 

On one important front we've established that Hubby is suffering to some degree of depression and are seeking help with that. As for me I don't know if I am too or not, I am frightened to allow myself to admit there is that possibility.

All I know is that these past few weeks have awakened insecurities and doubts in me that have not travelled with me for many years. I am trying hard not to give in to them, trying hard to see the big picture and stay positive.  It helps that I have to keep on keeping on, life doesn't stop just because I'm having a shit time of it.

We also have a holiday to look forward to, it couldn't come at a better time believe me! 8 nights in tropical Bali (pictures will follow I promise)

 And I bought tickets to the Frank Warren Postsecret lecture / show for this month.  Something told me at the time that I needed to get tickets and though I can't adequately explain to Hubby what it will be about (I'm not 100% sure myself!) I think we will get a lot out of it.

So that's a bit about what's going on.  I will try to pop in and let you know how we're getting on.
Thanks for stopping by x o