*le sigh*

It's been an interesting, crazy, mixture of emotions couple of weeks

I had been planning a quick up date mid month post because I had some exciting news

A couple of weeks ago by chance I met up with a lady who had been Miss 7's day care teacher when she was about 3. It was a sad day when she'd left the centre as all the children loved her and I was rather impressed that she'd remembered me and Miss 7. She is no longer in the child care industry and now manages a store which sells a popular brand of cosmetics (I won't say what here but my face book buds would know ;)

Anyhoo, I plucked up the courage to ask if she had any part time work available. She did as it happened but the hours were a lot more than I can do in a week... bummer! BUT she knew there was a casual position opening up in another store (and one that is closer to my home).

COOL!

She asked if I'd bring in my resume and I got all dressed up and took it in the next day. My little heart full of hope that this might be THE job I was looking for. The lady loved my resume and cover letter and said she'd pass it on to the new store manager (who she would be training)

AWESOME!

Then I waited a little... not knowing what else to do and within the week I got an email from the company HR department inviting me to a group interview the following week.

My heart kinda sank a little... I am not really a stand out in the crowd kind of person but still it was a chance and further than any of my other applications have taken me so far. So I phoned the lady to thank her for putting my name forward and asked her what I might expect at the interview.

She was more than happy to fill me in and I was more comfortable with what to possibly expect having some knowledge behind me. So I studied up on the company and gave a lot of thought as to how I could answer possible questions.

The day of the interview came and I was crapping myself (figuratively speaking). The interview was an exhausting 2 hour session where  I and about 14 other women effectively competed against each other. Everyone sized each other up right from the get go, many were asking others which store they had applied for to find who they were in direct competition with. We did all sorts of different exercises where the 2 interviewers observed how we interacted with each other. It was very difficult to be noticed but I tried though I could not bring myself to act out of character. There were opportunities for everyone to perform but there were some BIG personalities overpowering the room. At times I thought that they were even sabotaging other interviewees efforts which made me a bit cross and I hope the managers could see it too. But then again some people have asked me whether I thought they were planted in the interview to see how real applicants would deal with them. Who knows honestly but if that's the case it's a shitty way of doing things.

I was glad it was all over and while I didn't feel like I'd aced it, I didn't feel like I'd botched it either. Hubby had said to me to remain true to myself as pretending to be someone I'm not would end up back firing if I got the job  because I wouldn't be able to keep up the pretense. He's a smart boy, my Hubby and I knew he was right. I was proud to be secure in the knowledge that I was the real me in there.

So I left knowing that applicants would find out within the week the outcome, a phone call if successful, an email if not.

I got an email today unfortunately.

Right now I'm feeling gutted. Rejection always stings and I am a renowned cry baby. To my detriment I take things to heart. Knowing why I wasn't successful would help (though it might hurt too) so I replied to my rejection email asking for feedback for the sake of self improvement. To be honest I am doubtful they will reply.

So there you go, a tale of woe in the world of Shish

I've had lots of lovely encouraging words from friends saying that something better must be around the corner for me but right now I can't quite picture it. My heart that was so full of hope a week ago feels quite bruised at the moment, I'm going to have to take a moment before I get back on my horse.

Thanks for listening, next time will be a much more positive post I promise x