Monday, April 19, 2010

manners matter part 3

thank God the visitors are gone, it was not a pleasant visit at all.

I am probably taking on more stress than is truly mine but it was so frustrating watching this family in action

The child (horrendo-kid) remained badly behaved for the entire week and as she became more comfortable in her surrounds became increasingly cocky in attitude. I swear if my children acted as she has I would be horrified and would not have hesitated to bring them into line. Her mother is not of the same opinion, she made excuses for her, played down how she was acting and basically gave in every time to the child.

But then the mother was no better herself, without being clear about her intentions when she approached my MIL about staying with them, she had decided she was coming over for complete relaxation which obviously meant she had no intention of lifting a finger to help around the house, expected babysitting favours and letting her child run wild in someone else's home.

The grandmother was no better and kept saying out loud to MIL how exhausted she felt watching MIL running around all day (catering to them mind you), which infuriated MIL.

Her husband was over here for an athletic meet (he coaches) and things did not go as well as hoped for his athletes so he spent much of his time sulking when we came over for lunch one day because other people had an unfavourable opinion about his coaching performance on some internet forum. Awww diddums!

All these people took enormous liberties with my inlaws hospitality. Both husband and wife are the type who have been looked after (and spoilt) all their life and so expect it of everyone apparently. So I guess it isn't so surpising that their child has turned out the way she has.

We kind of kept our distance.... we didn't see them everyday, that would have been too much of horrendo-kid and avoidance seemed the best way to manage them plus we were still on holiday too and had things we wanted to do. I was sorry to know MIL was lumped with them so I helped out as much as I could when we did go over.

And I avoided horrendo-kid when I could, I am quite sure she picked up that I'd sussed her out and wouldn't be manipulated like most adults she is around. However I did pipe up at one point when Miss 5 came in crying, she had a big red mark on her arm and was saying horrendo-kid had hit her. Horrendo-kid had shot in to her mum as well saying she didn't so I asked her directly (in front of mum) why she had hit her, of course she denied everything saying Miss 5 was lying. Turned out in her haste and determination to be the best and "first" she'd slammed a child safety gate onto Miss 5's arm in a race to get somewhere. I was furious but what can you do when her own mother won't discipline the kid?

Suffice to say we're all glad to see the back of them. Unfortunately they are a family who we will cross paths with again. We can't go to Adelaide (when Hubby travels with us) and not see them but we have agreed that when we do, we will not be staying with any of them (last time we stayed with the grandma for a few nights but I felt uncomfortable about it once we got there) and our catch ups will be brief and under our own steam / terms. MIL has vowed they will never stay with her again.

This kind of visit may never happen again in any case but you know I can't help but think they thought it all went swimmingly.... that's the ignorant type we're dealing with GAH!!!!!

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