Wednesday, May 16, 2012

frayed around the edges

I've had a dreadful week and needed to vent, so here I am.

Lots of little things are niggling at me but yesterday I received a real blow to my confidence that I really didn't need.

You see I applied for (yet) another job... I think it's one that I'd do really well in. After a busy day where I was interrupted a few times whilst trying to complete the application and write my letter etc, I finally finished at 9:30 at night.

I was totally blown away when I got a call the next afternoon from the company. I guess it was kind of a preliminary interview to clarify whether all aspects of the job would suit me and whether they should invest any further time in me.

From my perspective I think it went well. They wanted to be sure that although it was a part time position, they could count on me to be able to attend 4 weeks of full time training in June. Not a problem I told them, I already have childcare arrangements and a very supportive family. We ended the call on a positive note  and I was told the next step would be further contact by phone or email and my excitement was massive.

The next day I asked my MIL if she was free to fill in the childcare gaps if I was selected for the job. Sure no problem she said.

So that was a week and a half ago. The position is still being advertised and my application online is listed as "pending" That to me says I'm still in with a chance.

Well yesterday MIL tells me in June she's heading interstate for a week. I panicked a little and asked what about the commitment she made me.

To be honest I think she'd forgotten but her response hurt like hell.

Instead of acknowledging she'd forgotten, she went on the attack and said "Well its been so long and you hadn't said anything so I thought you wouldn't get it", then she backtracked and said " Well you asked me but I didn't know it was in June" ( and I know I was very specific about the date when I first mentioned it to her)

I was crushed, I can't tell her what to do obviously but I had asked for a commitment from her and she assured me she was available to help. If I am successful I know there are other avenues I can pursue to get the kids sorted out but she is the one always telling me, "don't spend more money on childcare, I'm here"

But what she said about "not getting the job anyway" has stuck with me. I would dearly love to get it (or a formal interview at least) to prove her wrong but for now I must wait. I followed a friends suggestion and emailed the company (I was too scared to phone) asking for a progress update of my application.

It's all I can do for now.

Cross your fingers for me

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