Friday, March 21, 2014

keep on truckin'

so, I have continued to go to work and am pleased to say things are bearable for me at the moment.  My boss asked if I was ready to do some training to give me more skills and therefore can work in different areas as need be and I agreed maybe it was time.

So off I went into the city to the training school.  It meant my kids had to stay over at their Grandparents for much of the week.  I didn't want to put them in before school day care by 6:30am every morning and then pick them up late in the day as well.  I am very lucky the grandies are so helpful in that respect. 

The training was overwhelming, so much information to take in and I put a lot of pressure on myself to get it right the first time.  I made the mistake of trying to keep up with the other student in the class, she was straight out of uni and could speed read while absorbing everything and finished everything way before I did.  By the third day, I'd had a little cry in the car before I got there.  My hubby was driving me in every morning which was great, I was a bundle of nerves and wouldn't have coped well on the train.  He kept reminding me that I was being too hard on myself and I am VERY hard on myself.  Wonder Woman I am not!

But I got through and went back to work the following day, they put me on the front counter to practice my new skills and it was great.  So much easier than in the classroom.  And it kept me away from the bully. 

Before I went to training school I started to wear a uniform shirt that one of the girls had given me to try for size.  I had been putting off ordering my uniform for 4 months and felt weird wearing it for the first time but then I realised I was sending the bully a message that I wasn't going anywhere.  That motivated me enough to put my order in and I should have that next week.

So the bully herself doesn't seem to have changed except that the focus isn't solely on me now.  She will not acknowledge me even if we are working side by side, she is aggressive and grumbly to everyone now and though that is not good, I can handle that much better.

The workplace is not the lovely place it once was but I have decided I am not giving in and am NOT giving up my lovely little job because of one person.

In other news, I am almost finished the first draft of my book.  I finally got to a point where I think it can end and then begin again in another volume.  There is a little more I have to add to it, stuff that brings the theme of it together better and more completely.  Then I guess I will run through it for touch ups and hopefully get some people to read it for feedback.  It's pretty exciting and daunting to be this much closer to showing my work to other people.  Only one friend has read any of it so far and she has been great at giving valuable feedback.  Will let you know how it all goes.

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